Take me away.

This is probably the last space I would wanna rant on or jot my thoughts down. But it seems like this is the most comfortable place i own, to turn to right now. My mood is at a negative infinity now, and my mind is in a mess. I'm so drained physically and mentally. Things hasn't been going too well lately and it's been long since I had a rough patch. I'm so tired. I'm so freaking tired. Tired of commitments. Tired of family, tired of the boyfriend, tired of the friends, tired of school, tired of the insane work load, tired of feeling what i do not wanna feel, tired of feeling frustrated/angry/worthless, tired of all the arguing the screaming the shouting, tired of everything. Basically, tired of life. How I wish I could have a switch off button, to refrain myself from feeling things I don't want feel, detach myself from everything else. Just me and an empty world. (Okay, then that wouldn't be called a world anymore silly me). But, you get my point. I don't want interaction, communication, talking, socialising or humans. Just. Purely. Isolation. I don't feel the need of anyone in my life right now. This may sound extremely selfish and self-centered of me to the ones who care, but I'm not sorry. I may seem perfectly fine on the surface, but deep inside me I try so fucking hard to fight those tears of mine every night, to put up a strong front, to not be W.E.A.K. Weak was never in my dictionary. I think it's time I faced the reality. Every night recently I let my emotions take over me. I tried to hang on, but I always seem to collapse. My body is even taking its toll on me. Can I shut myself from the world, pretty please?

This is by far my most exhausting week of school. CTs are next week and I have 5 fucking papers back to back. Ohhh c'mon, to hell with this. Heavy content consecutive papers, no joke please. Next week is gonna be one hell of a week. Bless me. I've been hitting Starbucks @ novena since 2 days ago and am loving it! One of the 2 conducive study place to me. Seriously wouldn't mind being alone there these whole 2 weeks and making love with my books. I feel relieved as I type this wordy post out, somehow. Okay, I have zero energy left. Time for bed clarissa. Press on, 1 more week to go! And the holidays are here.

Till then, xoxo